No Return
by Karai-san
Summary: What you do could lead to a path of no return. When you bet something, you can't take it back when you lose. A oneshot in Fate's POV as she see's Nanoha with another when she was supposed to be with her. Would make a sequel someday.


_*-I edited this one so…I hope that there are no mistakes here…yeah...not an expert but at least the mistakes would not be that easily seen while reading…ahaha...-*_

I saw you, walking with him. It pained me to see you holding his hand, laughing with him, and giving him that special smile that you reserved for me in the past. How did this happen? You said that you will love me, only me, so why? Why are you with him when I am here, at a distance as I watch the two of you? I hope I could return, return to the past. The past that I treasure… I want to go back.

I love you… so much that it pains me. I do not even remember how it happened but the moment that I saw those beautiful and full of life sapphire eyes, I knew that I was in love with you. I always kept these feelings from you, scared of the consequences. Your friendship was enough for me. You were my friend, and soon became my best friend. Breaking a friendship like that, I'm terrified. I wished that those feelings would go away, but unfortunately, it didn't.

Things changed when we reached puberty. We changed, especially our appearance. We became the princesses of our school. Both genders, male and female, would try a shot and ask us to be their girlfriend. I declined everyone. I did those politely of course, since I already knew what an unrequited love feels. It hurt, so much that it felt like a thousand knives were stabbing my chest. Making them feel that unbearable pain, it would be cruel of me.

I clearly remember during that time that you would constantly ask me who I had a crush on, but I was able to keep the truth from you by evading your questions. Lying to you was not an option for I know that lying to you would be a mistake, a sin, and a blow from the trust you have given me.

One day, I was losing the patience in evading your questions and the only question that would distract you had always been flying in my head. I unconsciously asked you, "Who do you have a crush on?" I covered my mouth, shocked from what I just asked. I looked at your face and you blushed. My heart sank from the idea of you liking another person.

You looked up at me and perhaps you knew what I was feeling. You knew how to read me. You smiled sadly at me and said, "I-I like you…" then you embraced me.

I whispered your name, softly but disbelief could be heard from it. You pulled back and gazed at my eyes. You said with full of conviction and love, "I like you, only you. From the very start, I liked you. You do feel the same way, don't you?"

You were trembling at that time. It was enough for me to believe your words, so I answered, "Yes, I do."

That was enough to make you smile the brightest smile you could give. The smile that you had given me made my heart beat faster. Then you stepped towards me and leaned to give me a brief kiss on my lips. I swear that even when you pulled out, I still felt my lips tingling from that gentle kiss. I felt my cheeks burning and I heard you're cute laugh.

It marked the start of our new life together, another chapter in our lives. We were happy but when we graduated high school, we were forced to take different universities. Time with each other grew shorter as the days passed by.

Six months later, communication between us became a rarity. I was beginning to worry, apprehension grew and it killed me. I hated the fact that you wouldn't even call me or text me. I tried to call you so many times that I lost count but every time that I would do that, you're cell phone would be either cannot-be-reached or busy. I also tried texting you but when I had done that, you wouldn't even text me back. I understand that taking accountancy would be hard and it is a course where free time is rare or short, but I'm still anxious. I'm really worried that you don't love me anymore and found someone else.

Thinking of it is a different matter than seeing it with my very own crimson eyes.

I had seen you. You kissed him, passionately at that. My feet were glued on where I was standing. I couldn't believe that I had seen what I saw. You two had your own world, you didn't even notice me, and I was standing approximately five feet from the both of you.

When your kiss ended, you smiled differently at him. When I had seen that, I wondered if you did love me. When we shared our first kiss, I didn't saw that full blown blush, even a slight one. My heart was shattered, not just broken, but shattered into pieces.

Was it pity? It was, wasn't it? Why you confessed? You knew what I felt for you. Because I was your best friend, you deceived your mind and heart for me, to spare me the pain that it would have given me. But it was not the case, it was not. I'm sure that being rejected by you at that time would definitely hurt me, but what you did to me is just cruel, just too cruel. You made me feel that I have reached a high place but now, you let go of me and here I am, I fell so hard that I don't know if I could heal, if I could stand up again.

I was snapped from my thoughts when someone put a hand on my left shoulder. It was Yagami Hayate, a normally cheery friend of ours. We took the same course, medicine. She was staring at your direction emotionlessly. We both knew that Hayate was in love with him, yet you were there, being intimate with him. I just realized that I'm not the only one hurt, Hayate as well.

You dragged him towards your family's café, without looking at our direction. Perhaps you didn't know that we were there.

When I looked at Hayate, she sadly smiled at me and said, "I'm sorry Fate. Please don't hate Nanoha for what she did."

My eyes went wide with what she said. Did she know about our relationship? My walls had begun crumbling. I didn't know if I could keep up the façade that I was fine when someone who probably knew about our relationship, the degree of hurt that I had felt. She wrapped her arms around me and that was it. I sobbed my heart out I didn't care whether someone had seen us, I didn't care. The hurt that I felt was unbearable. How could you do that to me?

For a while, I cried and cried. When I calmed down she softly said, "I'm hurt too but I'm sure that it was nothing compared to what you're feeling right now. I really can't suggest anything or what you should do but just don't hate her. I'm sure in time you… we could forgive her."

I had nodded and told her, "Yes, Hayate… I think I need to break it first between us. I just…I need her…but if she's not happy, if she doesn't love me like the way that I feel for her… I'll let her go… I'm just not sure if I could really endure it after, but I will… For her sake. Maybe…but that time will come…I just… I need time…"

"I see… I understand." She sighed and asked me, "Are you going home now? Want me to accompany you?"

I declined her offer, stated that I want to be alone for a while. She understood and bid farewell. I walked towards home mindlessly, forgot that my house is the same way as yours and your family's café. It just occurred to me when your sister, Miyuki, put her hand on my shoulder which stopped me from walking.

"Hey Fate! I missed you. It's been a long time since you visited us, especially Nanoha. You regularly walk by when the shop is already closed and we're already asleep. Why don't you come and stay with us for a while? Oh and you must meet Nanoha's boyfriend!" Miyuki said in a hurry.

I guess she didn't know about me and Nanoha. I politely declined her offer but she insisted. I desperately dreaded the idea of going to their house at that moment. I was dragged towards your café and was dragged in it. When we entered, we saw you talking happily with the other members of your family, all of you were happily conversing with one another. Everything stopped when you noticed us. I saw your face, paling like a thin sheet of paper, while the others just smiled brightly towards us.

"So what's up? I brought Fate in here when I saw her walking towards her home." Miyuki told everyone before she looked expectantly at Nanoha, "You could introduce your new boyfriend now to Fate." She ended her speech with a wink.

Nanoha stood up nervously and stuttered, "F-Fate, t-this is…u-umm..Y-Yuuno. You k-know him a-already right?"

I simply nodded my head at that. I felt the numbing pain in my chest. It was unbearable, Nanoha. It felt like I was punched in the face, unaware that it was coming. I felt like running without saying anything but my feet were glued on the floor. I wanted to ask you the questions plaguing my mind. But I won't do that, embarrassing you in front of your family, so I didn't. I _simply_ _nodded_.

Your father, Shiro, patted Yuuno on his back since he was standing beside the sofa where Yuuno was seated, and said, "I can't believe that Nanoha would be able to have a boyfriend. She's already twenty and so far, Yuuno is her first boyfriend. My daughter is pretty lucky to snatch the heart of a fine young man. I can't believe that a former valedictorian would fall in love with my silly daughter."

I just stared at Nanoha, my façade was calm but on the inside, I was shouting, was hurting, and was agonizing. They didn't even know that Nanoha and I… of course, they wouldn't, and we decided to keep it as our secret. Hayate was a special case. She's observant while the others don't have time to even observe. I was fuming as Nanoha's family members teased them. Nanoha tried to ignore my gaze on her.

"I think I need to go." I blurted out, unable to stand it anymore. I needed to get out of there. I would burst if I stayed any longer. The others tried to stop me but you didn't. Perhaps it was not the right time to talk that's why you didn't. I said to stop their protests, "I'm sorry." After that, I left.

I ran. I want to go away. I couldn't stay there, with you and he and you're family, welcoming him. Were you already planning on telling them "Hey Dad and Mom, "here's Yuuno, the one I want to be with, my boyfriend."? I was bleeding, my heart is bleeding. It's going to die without you.

When I arrived at my home, I headed straight into my room. I cried my heart out. We were over. It was obvious that we were. He had you while I had nothing. You had become his without my knowing. It was a terrible feeling. I didn't know…I didn't know that I lost you when we stopped seeing, calling, and texting each other. If I had known what would happen, I might have done something.

That night, you tried to call me. You texted me saying that you want to talk. I still couldn't see you. I don't want you to see me like this. Give me time and surely…I would be able to let you go. I'm sure that's why you want to talk. I can't promise that I would be good when we see each other. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I might hurt you.

You tried communicating for months but even once, I didn't answer your calls and messages. I ignored them. I tried to act normal just like the time when I still didn't know about you and him. I wake up, take a bath, go to school and study, go back home late, and sleep. As days passed by, I felt that I could already lift a barrier, so that I wouldn't be hurt again when I see you.

Two months later, I was shocked when I came home. Mom was sitting on a chair in the living room talking with you. I felt it again, my barrier began crumbling. It wasn't a nice feeling. I began chanting in my head that you would leave. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

"Oh Fate, welcome home…I was just leaving for work when Nanoha came here. She said that she wanted to see you." Mom said as she stood up and waked towards me. She embraced me and said, "I'll see you on Wednesday. I love you, Fate." She pulled back a little and kissed my forehead.

Perhaps she felt that I was in distress. Mom would normally hug me before she leave for days or weeks but she rarely gives me a kiss, especially on my forehead. It was a motherly gesture and I love what she did.

She bid us farewell and left, leaving us to our business. I don't know what's going to happen but I felt that it would be bad. I thought that I was already ready to face you, but I was wrong. I feared for you. I'm being blinded by the pain. I walked towards the chair where my mother had seated and said, "Why are you here? Do you want something?"

You winced when you heard me. I'm sure that my tone was cold from what you remembered. But I know that you couldn't blame me for it. You knew why I was being mean, being cold. You lowered your head and said, "I-I'm sorry. I-I…you were not answering my calls and messages for months. I just wanted to talk to you. I-I'm sorry…about Y-Yuu—"

**SLAP!**

Tears were already falling from my cheeks. I had slapped you. Your head turned sideways as you also began to cry. "Get out of here Nanoha. I-I…." I sighed to calm my nerves, "We're done Nanoha. I'm letting you go…"

She immediately looked back to me and said, "A-Are you sure?" She looked at me with hopeful eyes.

I just nodded as the tears continued flowing down from my cheeks. Didn't you know that you're making it worse? You really wanted to be freed from me didn't you? Didn't you?

"Just please…do not let me…t-to see you again…Don't come back here anymore." I said, "But first tell me…Did you love me? Like the way that I…" I trailed off at that. You already knew what I meant. "Tell me the truth."

"I-I'm sorry…I d-don't know…I'm re-aally sorry Fate…" She's cried out.

"I see… You may go now. T-Thank y-you for everything," I said, "Perhaps someday, we would be best friends again…or even friends."

Your eyes widened at that. You were also hurt, I know. I don't need to see it. What you did was also something you can't help. You would never know who you could fall for, you love him or you made a mistake, it didn't matter. Friendship was bet from the start. It was broken and there's no turning back. Perhaps we could fix it, but for now, we can't.

_*-Please tell me what you think. I might make a sequel but it still depends on you. Yep…If you don't want me to write, it's fine. Are the ooc? I think they are but that's why you need to tell me the mistakes. But I think, people would not be too sure when love and emotions run on a rampage.-*_


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